Social awareness and progressivism are becoming increasingly important to many people, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Unfortunately, some choose to take advantage of this trend by pretending to be more socially aware and ‘awake’ than they actually are in an attempt to attract mates. This is known as ‘wokefishing’.
The bad news is that it can be frustrating and even harmful for those looking for the right relationship. The good news is that it’s often easy to spot a scam when you know what to look for.
Here are three signs that someone you’re interested in is probably waking you up.
#1. They seem to agree with you on every aspect of every issue you care about
What you want to look for in a romantic partner is compatibility that doesn’t depend too much on the deal. You want to find someone with whom you can have productive discussions that will help you explore different (and unique) perspectives on issues you care about.
For example, if you are someone who cares deeply about equal pay, a compatible partner would likely believe that people should be compensated fairly for their work, regardless of gender. They can also bring nuanced arguments about the nature of work, the safety of the work environment, and so on, to add perspective to the discussion. On the other hand, the molder will likely simply agree with you and not offer his actual experiences, thoughts, and perspectives on the issue of equal pay.
In addition, the success of a relationship does not necessarily determine the level of agreement between partners, but rather the ability to communicate and manage disagreements in a healthy way. Recently study published in Human communication research supports this idea, finding that the similarity or difference in political views between partners is less important than the quality of communication and conflict resolution strategies used when dealing with political issues.
#2. They seem to have only a superficial understanding of the issues they claim to care about
Wokefishers may try to impress you with platitudes or slogans without truly understanding their meaning, or with only a superficial understanding of complex issues such as systemic oppression or privilege. They may only engage in superficial activism, such as posting about social issues on social media or attending protests, without actively participating in social justice efforts or contributing to meaningful change.
It’s important to be aware of this behavior, as it can be frustrating for those looking for a genuine connection with someone who shares their values.
A few questions that can help you gauge whether someone’s interest in a social cause is genuine are:
- Why are they interested in the cause?
- What did they learn from their involvement in the cause?
- Do they want to work harder for the cause? If so, what steps are they taking to get where they want to be?
True social awareness requires more than just familiarity with popular terms and ideas – it requires a deep understanding and commitment to equality and justice. If it seems like someone is putting on their vigilante persona just to get you, it’s important to be extremely cautious and take it slow.
#3. They are obsessed with their social media presence and inconsistent with their opinions
Another sign that your potential partner is a bully is if their social media looks and reads like a documented report of what social cause was trending each week.
While it’s entirely possible that they’re curious about every trending trend, it’s unlikely that every cause resonated with them enough to take a public stand. If they seem to be using their social media to overstate their social justice credentials, try asking them how the social causes they care about have evolved over the years and be curious about why they felt the need to take a stand on it.
And in 2023 study explains that, as virtue signaling becomes a common way of communicating our “goodness” to others, it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish between people who genuinely share our values and those who are only interested in appearing that way to establish social proof.
Try challenging your potential partner’s views on a social issue they’ve expressed a strong opinion about and watch their reaction. Wukefisher will likely give up and go along with your opinion, which can be an obvious sign that they are being disingenuous.
Being aware of the signs of a vukefisher can help you avoid potential heartbreak and disappointment. Keep in mind that true social consciousness and progressivism are more than just words and surface-level activism. With these dead giveaways in mind, you can better navigate the world of social justice and dating and find a partner who shares your values and commitment to social justice.
Forbes – Innovation